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Bisexuality: Fact or Fiction?

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Sep. 7th, 2006 | 05:16 pm

Due to the increasing number of split responses filling my inbox I will be answering the question of whether I believe bisexuality is indeed a myth or not in my next article for The Advocate. I feel this will clarify my position on bisexuality, the neutral position The Advocate takes as a gay media outlet, and will answer many questions from people who have posted on my blog, about me, or sent me an e-mail. I apologize but as a student, an activist who runs two organizations, a performer, and as a person - I can not possibly respond to everyone as much as I wish I could. I will post a bulletin here when the article has been published.

Update: 9/8/2006: The above mentioned article will most likely draw more attention to clarifying my previous article and providing a rebuttal to popular belief of the article's meaning. I made myself clear in the article that I equally advocate for bisexuality alongside gays, lesbians, and transgender people.

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Comments {89}

Nathan Bialke

(no subject)

from: [info]saeculorum
date: Sep. 7th, 2006 09:28 pm (UTC)
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Better question - why does it matter?

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Tully Satre

(no subject)

from: [info]tullysatre
date: Sep. 7th, 2006 09:30 pm (UTC)
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The response article will be my position on it, not necessarily whether it should matter or not - that would make for another discussion.

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commie homo loving s.o.b.

(no subject)

from: [info]paraleipsis
date: Sep. 7th, 2006 10:28 pm (UTC)
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You have to take a "position on bisexuality"? I look forward to reading your article so as to understand what you could mean by that.

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Tully Satre

(no subject)

from: [info]tullysatre
date: Sep. 8th, 2006 02:09 am (UTC)
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I look forward to your response.

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zibacco

(no subject)

from: [info]zibacco
date: Sep. 7th, 2006 11:39 pm (UTC)
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Its a common enough question. I always figure you have to take people at their word, but I know from personal experience that "bisexuality" is often just a way station on the path to fully coming out. I know I used that line at first.

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Nathan Bialke

(no subject)

from: [info]saeculorum
date: Sep. 8th, 2006 12:47 am (UTC)
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I find it rather unfortunate that the diverse queer community cannot accept another group just because they aren't "gay enough."

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Tully Satre

(no subject)

from: [info]tullysatre
date: Sep. 8th, 2006 02:10 am (UTC)
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I have seen people who have 'used' the word as a path to coming out, however I have more often seen people use the word to truly describe their sexual attraction to both genders.

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Tabula Rasa

(no subject)

from: [info]nerdanel
date: Sep. 8th, 2006 03:41 am (UTC)
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See, and I refused to use it because I wanted to make sure that if I ultimately came out as gay, I didn't contribute to the "bi now, gay later" stereotype that actual bisexuals have to deal with. I identified for a time as "bicurious" or "biquestioning" but always made very clear to anyone I was talking about that I didn't know what my sexuality was and I wasn't calling myself bisexual.

Of course, when I ultimately came to identify as a lesbian, I was glad that I had been so careful to place an asterisk next to bicurious.

In any case, Tully - I understood what you were getting at with your original piece, perhaps more so because I too was a Virginia high school student (Newport News) a mere seven years ago. At the same time, I understand why others were troubled by it, so I look forward to reading your clarifying piece. I've been meaning to shoot you an email - I really applaud your coming out in high school, and I applaud your dedication to gay activism in Virginia. I didn't have the staying power to deal with the discrimination in Virginia, so I've spent the years since finishing college first in Massachusetts and now in California. I do feel ashamed, when I look at people like you, that I didn't "stand and fight" in Virginia - and I am so, so thankful that there ARE people as committed as you still within the state.

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V

(no subject)

from: [info]donnaidh_sidhe
date: Sep. 8th, 2006 01:37 pm (UTC)
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I'm idly wondering how many bisexual people decide to ignore same-sex relationships after encountering the "bi now, gay later" junk from their supposed allies.

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Megs

(no subject)

from: [info]magicmouse88
date: Sep. 7th, 2006 11:55 pm (UTC)
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Hope maybe this viewpoint helps a little in your article.
I am bisexual, that's how I see myself. I like being with men and with women though I prefer being with men more so. Calling myself "straight" isn't really true since I could easily date a woman. That being said, I couldn't truly align myself with being a lesbian either since I do prefer men.
Sexuality is a lot like a scale with true bisexuality being the mid-way point on that scale (equal parts men and women). Studies have shown that, surprisingly enough, most people tend to align themselves close to the mid-way point even though they might not see it that way or say that.
Personally, I don't see why its such an issue to have a designated title. Just because the world says "lesbian" or "gay" or "bisexual" doesn't mean that's what you become. Its a personal issue, and a person's choice- not the world's designation.

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Tully Satre

(no subject)

from: [info]tullysatre
date: Sep. 8th, 2006 02:08 am (UTC)
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Thank you for your response. I agree with you on the matter of labeling, it clearly is not important - what bothers me is when people use labels that degrade the character of other people. I personally feel comftorable calling myself gay since I am soley sexually attracted to men. Other people feel more comftorable being able to call themselves bisexual, or even pan-sexual - claiming no sexual orientation whatsoever.

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clarkelane

(no subject)

from: [info]clarkelane
date: Sep. 8th, 2006 12:57 am (UTC)
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You are a brave man to enter into this terrain. Good luck.

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Tully Satre

(no subject)

from: [info]tullysatre
date: Sep. 8th, 2006 02:12 am (UTC)
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Brave, maybe, but most importantly with something to say.

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Cristal Dawn

(no subject)

from: [info]pinkjubie
date: Sep. 8th, 2006 01:35 am (UTC)
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Why are we waiting to find out what you've already told us? Seems you've missed the point that many of us were trying to convey.

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Tully Satre

(no subject)

from: [info]tullysatre
date: Sep. 8th, 2006 02:13 am (UTC)
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I did see one point: people wanted/needed clairification on my article which streams into the topic of bisexuality.

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liza dolittle

(no subject)

from: [info]inward
date: Sep. 8th, 2006 03:20 am (UTC)
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Hopefully it will clarify things soon - I've only just begun to read some of the comments but I was surprised at how mean-spirited a few of them were.

You're very brave to dare the fire again to speak your mind and set the record right. Good luck.

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Laura Konner

(no subject)

from: [info]mercuryisme
date: Sep. 8th, 2006 03:04 pm (UTC)
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It's really not daring or difficult to insult people.

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In Different Hues

(no subject)

from: [info]indifferenthues
date: Sep. 8th, 2006 04:42 am (UTC)
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Gee, I sure hope you come down on the side of "Fact", else I'm going to be awful disappointed to find out that I've bee a figment of my own imagination for all these years.

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baby astrolab

(no subject)

from: [info]mizzpyx
date: Sep. 11th, 2006 01:07 am (UTC)
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Oh, i don't know. I think there might be advantages to being invisible. You know, superpowers and all that ;)

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Somewhere between Happy and Total F*cking Wreck

(no subject)

from: [info]jennilee_rose
date: Sep. 8th, 2006 05:04 am (UTC)
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I don't see why anyone has to take a "position" on it. I'm bisexual. I can tell you that it is real. I date a man, but I could just as easily date, fall in love with, have sexual relations with, a woman. I just choose to be with who I fell in love with.

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Lupa

(no subject)

from: [info]lupabitch
date: Sep. 8th, 2006 06:51 am (UTC)
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I will be answering the question of whether I believe bisexuality is indeed a myth or not in my next article for The Advocate.

Yippee! Somebody whom I've never met and probably never will meet is going to validate my existence for me!

Change this around a wee bit:

"I will be answering the question of whether I believe homosexuality is indeed a myth or not in my next article for The Heterosexual Times".

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aki_no_kaze

(no subject)

from: [info]aki_no_kaze
date: Sep. 8th, 2006 12:43 pm (UTC)
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no kidding!!! i am SO SICK of young men like the author just pretending to be gay, just to be popular and have lots and lots of gay sex... It makes it so much harder for the REAL gay guys to get any respect.

yes, question from the back?

no, ive never really met the author.

well, no, I'm not gay actually, I'm not even male if you must know...

What right do I have to pass judgement on the validity of his sexuality... um... well... tune in next week when I will answer a totally different question!

good night folks

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(no subject) - (Anonymous)

lohikäärme

(no subject)

from: [info]dragynsidhe
date: Sep. 8th, 2006 07:00 am (UTC)
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it is an awesome article, and so i have added you.

also on myspace.

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lohikäärme

(no subject)

from: [info]dragynsidhe
date: Sep. 8th, 2006 07:04 am (UTC)
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er, that being your I'm not a faggot, I'm bisexual article. durr, i've been sick so i'm not even *thinking* straight. :P

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briar_witch

(no subject)

from: [info]briar_witch
date: Sep. 8th, 2006 12:29 pm (UTC)
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I don't question whether or not you believe bisexuality exists, I question the assumption you're making about a couple of individuals whom you happened to overhear when they were speaking about being bisexual. You're denying them the benefit of the doubt, and presuming to know them better than they know themselves. This is just as hurtful as any other bias against bis.

You keep saying you've done a lot of work to further the glbt cause, which is commendable. However, you're not truly being an advocate with your stance on these young ladies orientation. It doesn't matter how much positive work you've done previously in this instance, because you're still being arrogant and dismissive of them, regardless of whether or not you're correct in your assumption that they're faking it just to look trendy and cool.

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we are your sweet mistakes

(no subject)

from: [info]eard_stapa
date: Sep. 8th, 2006 01:00 pm (UTC)
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Exactly.

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awfief

(no subject)

from: [info]awfief
date: Sep. 8th, 2006 02:11 pm (UTC)
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Why can't people read what you wrote? I don't get it....

"people claiming to be bi because it's trendy and cool contribute to the myth that bis really don't exist, are confused, are slutty"

"Isn't it ironic that people claim to be bi and then turn around and are homophobic?"

I actually posted this article to biresource.org and GOT FLAK ABOUT IT because someone said, "how does he KNOW those girls aren't really bi?" ugh.

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Deena One-Time

(no subject)

from: [info]shipbuilding
date: Sep. 8th, 2006 02:30 pm (UTC)
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Well...how does he know they aren't really bi?

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Valkie

(no subject)

from: [info]valkyri
date: Sep. 8th, 2006 05:12 pm (UTC)
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Ah, perhaps the question is (after reading all that and some more of that, and many other sprouting flames on that) whether these young girls want to be included in with or defended by faggots and lezzies? I think if they don't want to be (eww faggots, ewww lezzies - who would be caught dead in a flannel shirt with a mullet anyway?) then perhaps they don't fall in the "b" in GLBT, whatever order those letters go in.

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we are your sweet mistakes

(no subject)

from: [info]eard_stapa
date: Sep. 8th, 2006 05:36 pm (UTC)
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I know queer people who don't, in fact, want to be included with "faggots and lezzies." Some of them are very openly homophobic. They're still queer. It definitely doesn't justify their disrespectful behavior, though.

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Housier Daddy

(no subject)

from: [info]crackerman
date: Sep. 8th, 2006 06:51 pm (UTC)
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My best friend was full out and gay in his teens. It sounds to me like he had many flings. Now he's married to a pretty lady and he loves her (she's also a best friend of mine). He still gets attracted to handsome men, but he loves her most. She is his first female sexual partner, but she is undoubtedly feminine both in looks and behavior.

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Tully Satre

(no subject)

from: [info]tullysatre
date: Sep. 9th, 2006 03:09 am (UTC)
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I always find your input invaluable.

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